So says The Joker in last summer's #1 blockbuster The Dark Knight.
Even amidst many of the profound statements on morality and the human condition permeating the film, this one line really stood out to me. Personally, it really struck home with me.
See, since the unfortunate events surrounding the past year of my life, I've really made a serious effort to control things in my life, to be a "schemer." ;-)-
When everything falls apart, the natural human tendency seems to gravitate towards control. Whatever little corner of our lives that we can preserve, whatever sense of normalcy that we can perpetuate, we hold onto that like a dog holds on to a bone.
So, I've been trying to control as much of my future as possible. This applies to many areas of my life, but most noticeably, to me anyway, to my relationship with my girlfriend.
Yesterday it was like the scales dropped off my eyes and I saw how neurotic I was acting. I would perceive things that could cause future disagreements, and I would try to attack it then and there, to nip it in the bud so it wouldn't become a problem later on.
This isn't necessarily bad; it's good and advisable to look towards the future and plan ahead. A scene from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace comes to mind: the apprentice Obi-Wan tells his Master Qui-Gon, "Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future," and Qui-Gon responds, "But not at the expense of the moment." (I know, some of you out there are probably laughing at my nerdiness, but what can I say? Movies make awesome parallels) This is so true!
My predicament was that I was focusing so much on preventing future problems, that that in itself became a problem!!! It's similar to when a hypochondriac worries so much about getting sick that he actually makes himself sick.
So, where am I going with all this? We can't go through life worrying about the future all the time..."Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
So, in conclusion, I am striving to put this verse into practice and let go of the reins. Vanessa and I had a really good talk about this yesterday and I felt that a lot of misconceptions were cleared up. Please pray that I will relinquish my neurotic control and trust God, knowing that if I "Commit to the Lord whatever I do, my plans will succeed." And that, of course, God has the ultimate blueprint to all life.
God Bless.
Shane
"If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal...you become something else entirely." -Liam Neeson in Batman Begins
1 comment:
It is so true. I sometimes find myself getting frustrated and even angry over plans that didn't go according to plan or didn't happen at all.
It usually happens when I let myself lean on them too much, counting on them to happen. Not a good thing to do considering God is the only One that we should throw all our chips in on.
One of these times I asked myself "What is going on here? Why am I reacting this way?" The way people react to different things can say a lot and I began to realize that I was trying to control what was happening in my life.
I like schedule, routine and habits. They are comfortable, cozy and tend to be the most efficient. This doesn't mean I don't like doing things on a whim or lack a sense of adventure but it does say I was afraid of what would happen if my everyday life wasn't predictable. If I didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow or the next day. Talk about a lack of faith in Christ's plan and providence for my life.
Now whenever something in my "pre-planned" day goes awire, I try to stop and ask God to show me what he wants in that moment, how to live it out best for His glory. I also try to start each day by asking God to show me how to live it all out for Him. I want His heart, His will, and His way in me and my life. It is a growing process but I'm finally letting go of my life and laying it at the feet of Jesus.
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