About Me

I'm somewhat introverted, I'm a voracious reader, and I love a good conversation. My interests and activities can be found on the right side of the page. My life goal is to use the gifts and talents God has bestowed on me to glorify Him and benefit others.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Misconceptions Concerning the Female Species.

This post concerns a subject which will grab the attention of every guy in my audience. Never fear, my friends, this is not the sex talk.

Today I wish to give my thoughts on girls.

My personal view is that their is a lot of misinformation floating around on how we guys should treat girls.
We tend to take our cues from Hollywood and the media, which more often than not oppose a Biblical worldview. I wish to see this trend reversed, and thought I'd share my thoughts concerning this.

Let me set the scene for you. You're sitting in school, and are keenly aware of her presence. This isn't just any girl; this is her. You know, that cute girl who always sits two rows in front of you, third desk from the left.
As thrilling as your teacher's two-hour lecture on rational expressions is, you find your mind continually returning to this alluring young woman. From afar you've observed her bright smile and outgoing personality, but any time you try to make your presence known your mouth goes dry, your palms sweat and your mind goes totally blank. Finally, you can't take your cowardice any longer. You decide that you must interact with this goddess face-to-face, come what may.

So, psyching yourself up, you replay the scene in your head a million times. After class you'll walk up to her desk, flex your huge muscles, flash that perfect movie star smile, and deliver the one-liner of the century, which, you're certain, will make her instantly fall madly in love with you.

O.K., hold up. Sorry to be a party-pooper, but it doesn't exactly work that way.

Over the last couple years I've talked to many Christian young women about what they look for in guys, and guess what? None of the three attributes mentioned above were high priorities on their lists!!!

In actuality, most of what these godly young women listed as essential on the list of attributes they look for in boys they might like were things like honesty, maturity, and godliness above all.

See, girls are very emotion-centered creatures. They love to see guys showing compassion for others, and living a life of integrity and godliness.

Don't believe me? Take a look at these quotes (taken from BOOM: A Guy's Guide to Growing Up-which all you guys should go buy, by the way!) :

"True Christian girls find true Christian guys irresistible! A strong faith in God that shows in the way you handle everyday situations and relate to people around you is the most important characteristic we Christian girls are looking for in a friend."

-Paula Van Rhyn

"Be patient and talk to us. Most of the time we'll tell you what's going on inside if we think you care."

-Linnea Shannon

"I look for a guy who is considerate of other people's feelings and who acts like a gentleman by doing things such as opening the door for me. It's also important that a guy act the same around his other friends as he does around me."

-Becky Staple

As you can see, godly girls value integrity, godliness, and compassion the most in the opposite sex. Display these qualities, live a life dedicated to God, and you're bound to eventually attract someone who shares your views.

The world tells you that you need a nice car, Tag body spray, and muscles that make Arnold Schwartznegger lo0k like Pewee Herman to ever have a chance of attracting a member of the opposite sex. Don't believe it.
What these advertisers don't tell you is that nice cars eventually rust, and no matter how much you bench your body will still peg out someday. (One can only hope that deodorant won't go out of style!!! Lol).

The point is, girls look for a guy who isn't chained by mindless conformity to peer pressure and the need to live up to "the cool code." They look for someone who isn't afraid to be his own person, and strives to be a leader and good witness in the way he behaves and conducts himself.

One last thing: don't push romantic expectations on a girl right away. As a friend of mine, Liz Wacaser, put it so well, "Crushes are hard to live with." Before you entertain romantic thoughts with this girl, get to know her first. The absence of romantic overtones make it so much easier to get acquainted with the true person behind that pretty face, to see the strengths, weaknesses, and potential struggles that would come with starting a romantic relationship with this particular person.

I had many long, meaningful talks with the girl I now court without first expressing my romantic thoughts, and that wait has paid off. I got to see the love of God manifested in her life in the way she acts towards other, her love for people, her likes and her dislikes. It's better to wait and evaluate the person before rushing into a romantic relationship and then being disappointed.

Bottom line: Live for God, "treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity," (1 Tim. 5:2), and eventually in God's timing He will bring the right woman into your life.

God Bless!


P.S. I've decided it's be cool to have girls comment on this, so that the guys this is addressed to can read their comments and hear it from a girl. Plus I'd get to see if I'm on track or not, lol. ;-)-


Corey said...

I totally agree Slim Shane! Hollywood has really messed up relationships, not just from they guys prospective, the girls prospective too. I know I struggle sometimes too but God's been faithful. :) I truely don't understand why the general population(many christians included) feel that they need to be bf bf with someone to get to know girls. Why can't you just be friends? It's much easier, less heart breaking, etc... And no, you don't need to know how a girl kisses before you marry her. So I'm with you Shane. "Bottom line: Live for God, "treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity," (1 Tim. 5:2), and eventually in God's timing He will bring the right woman into your life."

Anonymity3189 said...

It's true!! I may think of guys as cute, but their looks quickly become repulsive if their character is not good. Likewise, I may not be attracted to someone right away but after getting to know them, and seeing a godly character, it becomes very attractive (as happened with my now-boyfriend). And it's true about crushes, too...I wish I had never had crushes because they would've saved me a ton of trouble and heartache. Once I gave everything into God's hands, he brought along the right guy, caused me to like him (even though he wasn't typically what I would "like") and for us to fall in love. We're planning to get married in a couple years, after I graduate. And the most attractive thing about him is his relationship with God.

slimshaney said...

Sweet, affirmation!!! Thanx for the comments, guys. I agree, Corey, you don't have to know "how a girl kisses before marrying her."
Cool food for thought, anonymity.
I think we guys could learn a serious lesson from this. While God did create us to be more physically wired, and though we're typically less attracted to a woman's emotions initially, I think we still need to take this crucial component into account.
Eric Ludy once compared deceptive physical attractiveness to, of all things, rotten mangoes. He said, "A rotten mango may look good on the outside, but I wouldn't recommend eating one. I wouldn't recommend marrying one either." While it may be harder for us guys, we need to condition ourselves to take the whole woman into account when we think we might be interested; her emotions, personality, and faith as well as her outer beauty. Again, cool thoughts. Hope to hear from you again, Anonymity. Good luck with your boyfriend/future marriage. Stay strong in God. Corey, I know I'll hear from you again. :-)- Adios.

Slim Shaney