New Year's Resolution

I kill myself every time

That I look away from You

I often gaze upon a moment

Inside the scars re-open

Bleeding again

Then I find

It's at my request!!!

Freely given and we choose

The choice to lose

(As these scars are screaming in pain)

Just have we chosen poorly

Could this be our chance to see

That we need You?

Instead of following our means

WHEN I HIT THE GROUND

MY BLOODY PALMS ARE RAISED

THE ARMS THAT PICK ME UP CONVINCE ME

THERE'S NO BETTER PLACE!!!

-Staple

Right now, you my audience are probably wondering what the heck prompted me to start this post off with the song lyrics. Well, first I'll tell ya a little bit about the band, then explain my reason for including their lyrics.

Staple is one of my fave bands right now. Though they unfortunately broke up not too long ago, their music lives on. For those Christians out there who, like me, have long craved a quality alternative to mainstream hard rock bands Korn and Slipknot, these guys are the real deal. Theirs is a unique brand of hard music, with heavier guitars than TFK, Pillar, or P.O.D., with a striking similarity to the revolutionary, incredibly unprecedented heavy guitars of Korn, paired with a strong vocalist not afraid to scream his lungs out one moment, then transition to hauntingly smooth vocals the next.

What separates these guys from thier mainstream counterparts, of course, is their lyrics. They're not afraid to venture into dark areas often left untouched by contemporary Christian music, such as lust, bitterness, and loneliness, you know, the real issues that real people deal with. They also aren't afraid to run to God for help.

And now we get to the point of this post. As I mentioned in the preceding post, I've felt very ineffective in my Christian walk lately. More accurately, I've felt crummy for trying to point my friends away from their destructive habits, like I'm acting like their parents or something and they don't wanna hear it. But tonight, through a conversation with my parents, I came to realize that that's price for going against the crowd, or more specifically, being a follower of Christ.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

-Matthew 5:11-12

I'm not gonna lie, internally I've had a horrible last couple of months. I've felt more lonely than I ever have in my life, like I hit rock bottom. I've felt totally worthless and ineffective, as nearly all of my old Christian friends fall into temptations and bad habits, not caring for anything but the moment. My good-intentioned, gentle reprimands were always met with laughter and scorn, and people I thought I knew turned around and walked away from their principles, apparently not realizing how much I cared, and still care for, these old friends of mine.

I know, it' so easy for people who haven't experienced the horrible ache of a "rock-bottom experience" to say that God is just "using that time to bring you closer to Him," but honestly that has been a result of my ordeal.

For the first time since I started fighting this battle, I feel a clear sense of purpose, of God telling me to just seek His will, not caring for the thoughts of others who could care less.

During this trial, He's given me two very special blessings: 1) My amazing girlfriend Vanessa, and 2) a sizable group of potential friends who aren't afraid to let their faith impact the people and the world around them.

Alright, now I gotta brag on my girlfriend. My intention is not to torture you singles out there, but to let you know that even as you might feel crummy without a boyfriend or girlfriend, waiting for the right one truly IS WORTH IT.

In the past eight months that we've been together, she has been such an encouragement to me, words don't even cover it. Right before we met, I was dealing with a lot of rejection and hurt, and then God brought us together. To make a long story short, we've been together eight months and I just am so happy to have the privilege of knowing such an amazing woman, as well as being her boyfriend.

I admire many different things about her, but one of them at the top of my list is the infectiousness of her faith in God. Every time we hang out, she encourages me to dig deeper in God's word, and stay connected to Him. She not only does this with her words, but in the way she dresses, as well as how she behaves.

Guys, when you find a woman like this, don't you dare let her get away!!!

A woman who posseses these qualities is "worth far more than rubies." Now, I know a lot of you guys have heard this verse and are rolling your eyes, thinking, "Yeah, but if God wanted me to behave that way, then why in the world did he make me 1% tender and 99% hormone-crazed?!?!" Well, unfortunately,I don't have the answer to that question any more than any of you, but I do know that having a girlfriend who is dedicated to helping you keep a pue mindset is essential to staying pure. You may think "Yeah, but put the nice, goody-two-shoes Christian chick and the drop-dead grogeous, swimsuit model/cheerleader/babe-of-the-year type in front of me, and it's safe to say I won't choose the former." Well, let me just tell you this: that girl who struts her stuff all over school may seem awesome now, but just wait. Think about her sixty years from now. I'm really sorry for those who will now be haunted with nightmares about their girlfriends instead of daydreams, but seriously, in sixty years will she be worth it, when that oh-so-incredible bod makes your wrinkly Aunt Thelma look like Miss America?!?!

Thing is, going into "every man's battle" with a girl who presses you to give up your innocence is like taking your worst enemy into war as backup. Sooner or later you're gonna get stabbed in the back. If all the girl is after is immediate gratification, then what happens when Mr. Teenage Studmaster comes along?

Make sure the girl you're with has your best interests in mind in the area of purity.

Most importantly, make sure that she shares your beliefs. It makes it so much easier to make it through when the going gets tough. It's been eight months, and Vanessa and I haven't so much as yelled at each other yet! "Honesty and openess are key," a friend once told me. It's true!!!

The little things that this woman does (listening when I'm down, packing me a lunch, hanging out with me, listening to me drone on about the awesomeness of the TV show LOST, or the fatal flaws of socialist thinking, or the brilliant military strategy of Sun Tzu, or scores other topics that normal people find incredibly fascinating ;-)- just amaze me. And when we hang out together, the wya that she compliments me makes me feel like a superhero!!! Half the time I don't feel like I deserve such an incredible person as a girlfriend, and I thank God all the time for her.

My point in bringing Vanessa up is that everyone needs a close friend, whether it's their girlfriend or not is irrelevant. There are people out there that feel like zeros, like just one person in a sea of faces, like they can't go on another day. I know; I've been there. But you can simply call out to God and ask for Him to direct your life, and He will. You might have to experience pain first, but He will bring you to a place of dependence on Him. A member of my old Aikido club had a saying that I thought was cool: "You need the fire to make the sword." In other words, hard times make you stronger; they help you build spiritual muscle to defend against the attacks of the evil one. So, no matter how hard things might seem right now, no matter how bleak and hopeless the situation, make your New Year's resolution to live your life for Jesus and "God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Phillipians 4:19

God Bless and Happy New Year!!!

Shane

Walk the Walk, Don't just Talk the Talk!

Wazzup party people. Been a while. But now I have time to write, since I'm on Break. ;-)-

Last night me and my bro stayed out 'til 2:00 in the morning. We saw I Am Legend, ate out, visited one of our friends wo was working, and played Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (which trumps Halo 3 in every way possible) well into the wee hours of the morning with our friend Tyler. It was fun. I was able to get through the night with the aid of Full Throttle (an energy drink which is a lot better than Monster or RockStar-it tastes like juiced gummy bears!!! And it's good for you, too. Heh heh, J/K) But I stayed awake! ;-)-

As cool as it was, I was still a little troubled. My friends all seem to have dropped their principles by the wayside. Sex jokes, immorality, and ungodliness permeate all conversations and subject matter. Not that I've never laughed at a bad joke, but I'm sincerely trying to "be an imitator of God," and "live a life of love," just as God commands us in Ephesians 5.
This passage goes on to say, "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.
Live as children of light...and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them."

I believe that the church at large (at least, what I've experienced) has neglected passages of this kind. Why? Perhaps because they're comfortable giving the same feel-good sermons every week, preaching to a congregation that's grown up on these kind of messages.

In my mind, messages of this kind do little good in helping Christians be effective witnesses in the world around them. Many of my friends who have grown up in these environments seem to take up a seat every Sunday, and then go about their week just as any non-believer would.
Christians have to some degree "created their own ghettos." They put on their masks on Sunday, then remove them the rest of the week.

I think the tragic truth is that many of these kids see the Christian life as a subculture of sorts. You know, Christian concerts, Christian movies, WWJD bracelets, the like. None of these are bad things, they just need not be the extent of the faith of Christian young men and women.

Many of my Christian friends (I won't name names) are sleeping around, drinking, etc., with no thought whatsoever towards the wrongfulness of these actions. I just don't like seeing them doing those sorts of things to themselves. It's not my intention AT ALL to merely point out others faults for the sake of seeming "Holier-than-Thou." These actions bother me.

I've tried to follow Galatians 6:1 "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him GENTLY." I feel strongly, though, that I'm not having much of an impact.
It's like my friends see me as some goody-two-shoes or something. I'm routinely, directly excluded from conversations. Like last night, my brother and my friend told me I had to stand back over here while they had a conversation in low voices over there. When I asked my brother why that was later on, he said because it was a personal thing of my friends. Uh, if it's personal, then how come this friend talked to my brother about it? No, the truth is that they were talking about something that this friend and my brother didn't feel comfortable sharing with me. This happens a lot, and it's honestly annoying. I'm not the type to go "tell" on people (I mean even if I was, I'm eighteen, you think I would have outgrown that habit by now!!!), so what gives???

I'm routinely excluded from conversations and gatherings b/c my friends know I would have a problem with watching a gory slasher or sexually immoral movie or because I don't approve of their nasty jokes. The only people who I feel truly want me around are my girlfriend and my friend Joel. The rest invite me to parties occasionally, but everytime I've gone to one I've felt very ignored except for a few isolated instances, so I thought "forget that" and just stopped going.

I'm really trying to be a good witness and walk the walk as well as talk the talk, but I feel as if I'm having zero influence.

People always tell me that people's opinion doesn't matter, and I know it doesn't in the big picture, but most of the time I don't think these people know what it means to feel rejected by almost all of your old friends. Are people afraid I'm going to bite their heads off or something? I feel like a total reject. Does anyone agree? Can I get an amen here? The last several months I've been battling dark thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. I'm having real troube with this, as more and more of my friends backslide into bad choices and I feel ineffective because of it. Though I won't stop praying and caring about these friends, I'm in need of friends that share my views. Pray for me that I can GET UP THE NERVE to give these people a call, and stop having depreciating thoughts about myself.

The following song has helped me greatly through these thoughts, reminding me to keep holding on. It's by 38th parallel, a now non-existent Christian alternative rock band that never got near the amount of recognition they deserved:

Days grow long and the days grow dark and the days grow ever colder

The trust that I started with frays as I get older

The road is hard it seems to me there is no way around this

From all You've done for me I know you'll never break your promise

So you're at the end of this day

Where the world is shaded in gray

I will look to blue horizons

And watch for You to come

When my hope is tattered and torn

When my faith is weathered and worn

I look to the blue horizons

(Whatever you say, have me go I'll go, whatever you say, I'll go)

I look to the blue horizons

38th parallel, "Horizon"

Please continue to pray for me as I strive to "fight the good fight." God Bless.

Shane

"What Are You Gonna Do Today, Napoleon?" "Whatever The Flip I Feel Like Doing, Gosh!!!"

It's been a long time since I've posted (almost a month). This is a consequence of the school-and-work-related stress I'm under right now, which is also a large part of the body of this post.

So, as I sit here at my computer, fumbling a bit with the more compact and less familiar keyboard of a laptop while listening to Freddie Mercury sing "Bohemian Rhapsody," (seriously, after listening to him sing every other rock singer suddenly seems like an amateur, lol) in the back of my mind hover thoughts of daunting homework assignments. I'm spending Sunday with my gf, and so that leaves the rest of tonight, a good deal of tomorrow, and a good portion of Monday to complete my Computer Literacy and Spanish assignments. Luckily, I was able to complete some of my Spanish homework last night (another one bites the dust!!!-which is Queen's finest song in my opinion, but that's beside the point). ;-)- Anyways, I'm getting an A in Computer Literacy and Math. In fact, I got an A in my latest Math exam, which made me very very happy. I kinda obsess over my hw as of late, I think. It's always on my mind, which is never fun. In fact, it's so much on my mind that I think I will stop talking about it and turn my attention to something else, thank you very much. ;-)-

Back to classic rock. I honestly think the classic artists such as Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Queen and the like are the best music that ever was and ever will be. You just can't find music as good anymore. It seems to me that this music is so much easier to relate to than the stuff that'sut out today, even though today's stuff is from my generation. Back in the day, there were love songs that, it seems to me, most people could relate to. Now, we have shock rockers like Marilyn Manson and Korn, who explicitly advocate murder, suicide, and hateful thinking. It just seems crazy that thirty years we had love songs (and sure, songs about drugs and sex as well, which aren't all that great), but now the artists who top the charts sell hateful idealogies, full of cussing and drugs and violence to millions around the globe. I guess it all had to do with "the downward spin of this planet," as my gf refers to the steady moral decline that characterizes our society.
But anyway, rap and emo will eventually pass away, while these rock gods of the past generation (Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Queen, etc.) continue to inhabit the stereos of kids thirty years later. They have a kind of longevity that I don't think the majority of our artists will ever have, no matter how much time passes.

Anyway, there's my little lecture on music. Let's see, what else is there to post about...oh yes, I'm very much looking forward to the release of Showbread's fourth album, sometime in the Spring. It's been titled Anorexia Nervosa, and is actually two discs containing a total of 24 tracks, according to their website. They say that it is different from AOR (which loyal members of the Reptilian Empire know wasn't very well recieved), as well as No Sir, Nihilism Is Not Practical. The sweet part is that it is actually the sound track to a story that constitutes the two ten-chapter booklets of the album. Knowing that Josh Dies is a suspense/horror writer as well as lead singer/screamer of the band, it should be very interesting to see what they came up with. I can't wait. Raw rock kills forever. ;-)-

Anyways, umm...I know I should have more to write about, but I don't know where to start...
been kinda quiet lately (I mean, more than usual. ;-)- Not much goes on in a small town, and my life is somewhat boring. I've been struggling more again with the prob I outlined in Conformity vs. Popularity. I think that Satan keeps beating me over the head with the idea that I don't have anything to offer. My iPod, books, manga, and movies are my constant companion as a result, but I've been making greater strides into the realm of the sociable!!! I got to help out with an outreach for single parents at my college recently, which was cool. Hey, are there any of you out there who are obsessed w/ the Matrix movies, Ted Dekker books, loud Christian music, Napoleon Dynamite, manga, LOST, or Aikido??? If so, drop by and show some love!!! It'd be AWESOME to connect w/ people who share these interests of mine. ;-)-

Anyways, I'm out.

Slim

P.S. TFK rocks! I didn't use to like their album The Art of Breaking, but it sort of grew on me.
Hurt, Hand Grenade, and Hit the Floor are some of my fave tracks.

iPod/TV/xBox = life support??? Houston, we have a problem!!!

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

-Aristotle


"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the level of thinking we were at when we created them."

-Albert Einstein


Tonight I attended a meeting at my Pastor's house, to start a series on spiritual warfare. While the discussion mainly revolved around what the Bible had to say about demons, the demonic influences in the world today, etc., there was also some talk about the competition for our attention between two major forces: God's will for our lives and the temptations and deceptions of the evil one. This eventually led to talk of how what we take in through our media has a great effect on us, and has the potential to pull us away from God.

As tobyMac observes:

"It is a daily struggle to walk with God in our modern society. There are so many things competing for the attention of our hearts and minds."

He's absolutely right. I know this topic is often exhausted in Christian circles, but it's one that needs to be addressed.

This evening, my Pastor shocked most of us in attendance when he told us that, excluding "The Passion of the Christ," he has not seen a movie in a movie theater for thirty years. He also chooses to watch very little television and doesn't own an iPod or portable CD player ("Oh, the horror!!!" I thought ;-)-. He states that he's realized that his life's purpose is to hear from and follow God. Accordingly, he's put the things of the world on the backburner. He doesn't advocate these seemingly drastic steps for everyone; it's just a personal choice of his in his quest to better follow God.

While he didn't necessarily recommend this practice for us, he got me thinking.
Putting all the subliminal, anti-Christian messages in many of today's films and music aside, think simply of the amount of time that is devoted to these activities in the average American household. Consider this:

-The average teen hears 10,500 hours of music between grades 7 and 12. That's more than fourteen months nonstop.

-Boom, A Guy's Guide To Growing Up

I've also heard that the television is on for approximately seven hours a day in the average American household. Point is, we live in a media-driven culture.

Now to the quotes at the top of the page. These two intellectual heavyweights made observations which I think all of us could learn from today: Our habits have a great affect on us, and if we wish to conquer our problems, we need to change the way we see them.

Specifically relating to the Aristotle quote, I think that if we all really think about it than we are forced to admit that our habits eventually produce noticeable results. For instance, a bodybuilder who adheres to a regimen of strength training will build muscle mass, and a person who overeats and doesn't exercise will gain weight. These are simple, demonstrable examples of how habits affect us.

Even though we hate to admit it, the same is true for our thought life. What you believe determines how you behave; this has been the case all through history. Hitler was convinced that the Germans were the superior race that deserved to rule the world; this belief in Aryan supremacy caused him to facilitate the Holocaust.
President Bush believed that Saddam Hussein was a threat to us; this conviction compelled him to send troops into Iraq to search for him.

I've realized that I, as an American whose been raised and immersed in an ectremely affluent and privileged society, I've bought into the lie that my reason to live is for my own fulfillment and entertainment.
Finally realizing this, I decided that I would eliminate the influence of my iPod, music, and television for a week and see how it impacts me. For instance, if I break into a cold sweat and start experiencing withdrawal symptoms, this might be a clue that I listen to my iPod a little too much. Lol.

As I said before, it's not just the impact of negative media influences that concern me; but the amount of time in my daily life that is devoted solely to my entertainment, when I could be learning something or doing something for the kingdom of God. Seriously, I think this test will free me to focus more on God than the myriad of entertainment choices all around me, and that it'll cause a shift in my thinking, similar to what Einstein observed.

Though I wouldn't go as far as to say that everyone should do this, I'd encourage you my audience to give it a shot. See if you hear from God more clearly, or if you simply have a more productive week. God Bless.

Shane

Mission trips, Mexico, and Country Music

Ever notice how good we have it here in America?

I know we as church kids here this all the time, but have you ever seriously thought about it? Recently I've been seriously thinking about taking a missions trip to Mexico City. I went a couple years ago to Mexico City to visit some friends, and the level of poverty there is heart-breaking. People living under pieces of aluminum, people passed out in the streets. It really hits me hard as an American, 'cuz I typically don't see that kind of thing here.

In case you haven't seen the news recently, horrible stuff happens in the world. Poverty, wars, Paris Hilton getting thrown in jail. However, a lot of the time our wealth and our security here in the land of the free and the home of the brave insulates us from this fact. We tend to see these things as more of a cause that we give money to on Sundays, rather than harsh reality.

The truth is, the abscence of the wealth and the consumer culture we have here often breeds a higher dependence on God. When I went to Mexico City a couple years back, I visited a house church up in the mountains that my friends were leading. I'll never forget it.

These people, about forty of them, were meeting in an abandoned shell of a house several miles from civilization. They hardly needed the few lanterns they had, because sunlight streamed in through numerous large gaps in the ceiling. There was no insulation, no plumbing, no electricity. Rebar showed through everywhere you looked. Try to imagine a cement basement, completely unfurnished and stripped down to the bare minimum, and you'll have some idea of what it was like.

Though these people were dirt poor, with little more than the clothes on their backs, when they heard we Americans were coming, they pooled what little money they had and put togehter a buffet of sorts. Their hospitality almost moved me tears, as I thought about how many times my selfishness and greed had gotten in the way of showing generosity like this. They offered my Mom some food with peanut butter in it, and she refused, because she had a near-deadly allergy to peanut butter. So, instead of just geting her something else, they gathered around and prayed for her, and she was healed of the peanut allergy (we didn't find out until we got home...the peolople we stayed with thought we had better be safe than sorry, since there was no hospital for miles around. Oh us of little faith! ;-)-

These people were also totally unashamed to worship God. I mean, they were throwing themselves down in the dirt, thanking Him for their lives. It was a very moving experience, not just because of the emotion involved, but because of the obviousness of their total, daily dependence upon God to supply all their needs.

We in Amercia oftentimes have a much smaller view of God then this, and yet we have all the freedom we could ever want to worship Him. And just think; in other countries people are tortured for their belief in God, and yet the Gospel manifests itself there in ways that America has yet to see!!!

I mean, honestly, the closest thing we have to torture here in America is country music. And while listening to Toby Keith drawl on about losing his girlfriend, his pickup truck, and his new jean jacket may induce almost unbearable pain and suffering, we still have the option of changing the station (thank you God!!!).

Seriously, spend some time today thinking about how you can impact your Christian brothers and sisters around the world, be it through an offering or through a missions trip. If you ever get the chance, I would heartily encourage you to go visit a foreign country someday. To me, a kid who's lived on a three-acre farm nearly his whole life, the sights, smells, and sounds of one of the largest cities in the world certainly was eye-opening. The bst part by far, though, was being deeply inspired by visiting these brothers and sisters in the faith, who forever changed my perception on what it truly means to give your all to God. God Bless.

Shane

Video Games and Japanese Animation Go Hand-In-Hand!

Don't bother looking for a deep spiritual parallel in this post, because there isn't one. This is just some surface stuff about me and some of the stuff I've done over the week.

Well for starters, last night me and the bro were over at Mark's house and I played Halo 3 for the first time. Before anybody can raise any possible questions about the total supremacy of this third edition over the first two, I will shout you all down and say "IT WAS TOTALLY FREAKING AMAZING!!!" Lol it was awesome. I got Mark with a rocket launcher a few times, mwhaha.
;-)- The new vechiles and weapons are definitely a step up from the first two installations in the series, to say nothing of the graphics. I particualrly enjoyed the addition of the gravity hammer and the elephant. ;-)- So, basically, it was absofreakinlutely incredible. ;-)-

I also read my first manga on Monday. For those of you who don't know, manga is Japanese for "comic book." Though I'm not a huge fan of anime, the art in manga is amazing because it conveys so clearly what the characters are thinking and feeling. I read 200 pages in one hour.

My good buddy Jared recommended BLACK CAT, a Shonen Jump title, for me. I trusted him that it was clean, and it is. It was written and drawn by Kentaro Yabuki.

Beware of the dark side of the manga, however. Most of them are rated, so make sure to check the ratings! They have some unbelievably over-the-top stuff in some of them, but the clean ones are really cool! The Matrix was hugely influenced by Japnese animation, as the Wachowski brothers are huge anime and manga aficionados. ;-)-

Anyways, my only deep thought for this post is that I might be going on a missions trip pretty soon. Please pray that I would recieve direction as to whether or not I'm supposed to go, because it is a huge financial and time commitment.

God Bless.

Slim Shaney

So That You May Understand The Complex Infrastructure Known As The Female Mind

Please note: To any ladies reading this post, it is not my intention to offend. I simply wish to state an observation I've made recently in the interest of helping my fellow brothers in Christ better understand women. I would be pleased if you women commented on this and gave me your views.
(This has been a public service announcement brought to you courtesy of Shane. Thank you and happy reading.)

All of us guys have experienced the phenomenon known as "nagging." Whether it revolves around cleaning your room, taking out the trash, or "for the last time stop standing with the refrigerator door open!!!," most of us guys can relate.

My Mom, it seems, has a black belt in this ancient art practiced for centuries by females all over the globe. I would be lying if I said it didn't get under my skin a lot of the time. I'll be perfectly honest: when my mother tries to tell me what I should be doing, how I should be doing it and when I should be doing it, as childish as it may seem, I often take offense.

Chalk it up to male pride. I'm guessing a lot of you, the male constituents in my audience, have dealt with the same issue. Whenever a woman (our mothers or anyone else for that matter) tries to tell us that we're doing something wrong, we go on the defensive. We think, "Why is she still giving her opinion? Doesn't she know that I heard her point the first time? Besides, I've already got everything under control!!!"

Now let's switch gears for a second. Every guy knows how frustrating it is when you know that a girl has something on her mind, but whenever you ask her what it is she just says, "Oh, nothing." This is as frustrating to us as three weeks worth of algebra tests, because it interferes with our God-given desire to be a protector and provider. If you won't tell us what the problem is (and a lot of the time this means spelling it out, because the truth is we guys aren't typically as intuitive as you ladies), then we feel helpless, even unwanted.

Recently my girlfriend made a comment about how, biblically, women are supposed to be a man's helper, and that it really encouraged her when I noticed some of the things that she would do to help me and when I accepted her help. Just this morning I got slapped upside the head with the realization that maybe, just as we men have a God-given Protector/Provider instinct, perhaps women have a God-given Helper instinct. And just think, if it frustrates us so much when they refuse to tell us what their problems are, how much might it frustrate them when we refuse their help and advice???

Truth be told, it took an angry shouting match with my Mom to bring this fact to light. :-(- It all seems so cut-and-dried, but in reality it is so unbelievably hard to accept this well-intentioned help from a female.

In order to do this, we need to let go of our pride and let women help us when we need it. I'm not saying that we need to do everything their way all the time, just that we need to be sensitive to their suggestions. Let's let women be women and exercise their Helper instincts, and then maybe when they see our sensitivity in taking their suggestions into account, they'll feel more receptive to letting us exercise our Protector/Provider instincts.

God Bless.

Shane

Randori For Everyday Life

Close your eyes. Now imagine your face bright red, your breathing heavy, your heart pounding, your palms sweating. You feel totally helpless in the face of your predicament.



No, I'm not referencing the scenario I outlined in "Misconceptions Concerning the Female Species," though most honest guys would attest that these symptoms are often part of talking with women.



This is martial arts class.



You're kneeling at the edge of the tatami, or mat, covering the floor of your dojo. Tonight you and your cohei practice randori, or freestyle attack. Assembled in a straight line, silently solemn, a handful of your toughest opponents sit opposite you. The tension is so thick that you can feel it in the air your lungs are yearning for, as well as the sweat that drenches you, running down your forehead and into your eyes, blinding you. Your sensei, though he knows your feelings from experience, is unsympathetic.



He barks out one short command, and the action begins.



You rise to your feet in unison with your adversaries, who are dashing towards you even as they stand.
You redirect the first attack, a punch to the stomach, just in time to blend with the second and throw your attacker to the floor. The other two run for you, but you push the first two into them, checking their rush for those vital few seconds you need to regain your stance. You don't plan, you act. As your attacker brings the knife edge of his hand at your nose, again you blend with the attack, utilizing his momentum and knocking him on his back. A short sprint backwards permits you to gather yourself and once again engage your opponents.

You are aware that your greatest asset in a fight of this nature is not your strength, nor your speed; it's your
movement. Without the ability to dodge an attack, deprived of the space to redirect your enemies into each other, you would be helpless in the face of their onslaught. You make good use of this vital weapon, and no matter how fast your opponents come at you you flicker in and out, like flame. The attacker who a second ago saw an exposed back as you dealt with his comrade now rushes straight into your outstretched palm.

Your adversaries thought they had that rear naked choke locked in; but you dropped to your knees and threw them to the mat, disappearing, then resurfacing behind them victorious. And then, as quickly as it began, it's over. Your Sensei congratulates you on your strategy, and you leave with a smile on your face, triumphant in your victory.



As I participated in this scenario earlier tonight, I couldn't help thinking that it parallels life very closely.



In a fight involving more than one attacker, you cannot afford to focus on one adverasy. As soon as you start to do that, you forfeit all chance of winning. You start patting yourself on the back for that great arm bar you just applied, and then before you know it two other men are jumping on top of that back you're busy patting. ;-)-



Neither can you expect to take on everybody at once. No, what you must do is utilize movement to rush one man, then throw him into his buddy. You're then free to attack the third attacker. You do this while remaining aware of everything that's going on around you. My fellow practitioners call this "disconnecting."

You "connect" when you focus attention on one attacker; too much connection means trouble.



In life, a million different things compete for your attention at once. You have to go to work, while coping with the fact that your girlfriend dumped you, and nagging at you in the back of your mind is that math homework that's due tonight, which you thought would be done by now but you thought wrong, and now you have to cancel the plans you made with your best friend three weeks ago.

How do you cope with it all?!?!

Well, as with randori, you can't let it all pile up at once. You have to be able to take one thing at a time, and put thiose future plans and projects on a timer in the back of your head somewhere.

You have to have the freedom to "move around," in other words rearrange things when they don't turn out the way you think they should.

Unlike randori, our strongest asset here isn't our movement. It's Jesus Christ.

"For I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13). While God doesn't promise that we won't have problems in life, He can help take the stress out of it for us!!! All we have to do is ask. When life leaves you feeling smashed flatter than a tortilla run over by a 400 pound truck driver driving a huge eighteen wheeler carrying a bunch of well-fed sumo wrestlers, just give it to Him and see what He does with it.

Disconnect from your busy world for a few minutes today and connect with God.
Don't worry; He's got your back. ;-)-

God Bless.

Shane

Conformity vs. Popularity

I'm short on time so, consequently, this post will also be short.

Lately I've begun to wonder if I'm too serious. It almost seems like I've got a serious case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde going on sometimes. I tend to enjoy things that none of my other peers do (Seinfeld, ancient history, and books on psychology to name a few), which makes me feel very distant from them most of the time.
I do have the capacity to spend my time in the most trivial ways, playing PS2, shooting hoops, or watching SpongeBob SquarePants, which almost has all the educational value of Silly Songs with Larry.

But on another level, I tend to crave serious conversation with my peers, and almost loathe discussions exclusively revolving around the mundane. I spent most of the past four years of my life talking about nothing but music, movies and video games with my closest friends, and I've gotten to the point where that just doesn't do it for me anymore.

I find myself wondering lately, Am I normal? Does my appreciation of my parent's music (Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, etc) label me as a throwback from the past generation? Does my appreciation of things like ancient history, Psychology, and politics render me stuffy and boring in the eyes of my peers?

And then I begin to ask myself another question...what IS normal, and do I really want to obtain it?

Our culture tells us that to be normal is to like the same big bands that millions of people listen to, to shop at Hollister, and that image is everything. While I never want to mindlessly conform to those around me, I find myself walking the thin line between conformity and popularity.

Don't misunderstand. In my heart of hearts I know that God's opinion is all that matters, and that I really don't need to care about man's opinion. Lately it seems, however, that my knowledge of this fact has been put in a chokehold by my desire to fit in and be appreciated by my peers. Everybody wants to fit in, and I am no exception. Maybe I should spend more time where I feel I am greater appreciated for just being me, or maybe I'll never fit into that coveted mold that makes lots of people want to hear your views and get your feedback.
A lot to think about, I guess. Like I said, I know that I shouldn't care about other's opinion, and that God's is the only one that truly matters. Still, it doesn't change my desire to be accepted. I guess I'll sleep on it and see if I get any insight from reading the insides of my eyelids for a few hours.

Of Tortillas, Sumo-Wrestlers, and a Giant-Sized Headache.

Ever have a day where you start out on top of the world, but by the end of the day you feel like you 've been smashed flatter than a tortilla run over by a 400-pound truck driver driving a huge eighteen wheeler carrying a bunch of well-fed sumo wrestlers?!?!

That's what yesterday was like for me. It started off great. I got up like I usually do, and drove to the college at my usual time even though I didn't have Spanish class that morning (I decided it would be good to get homework done). And my day did go well. But then, at the end of the day, I discovered that my overall grade in Spanish was much lower than I thought it to be-a 67%!!! This is largely due to the fact that 1) I have an incompetent teacher, and 2) the online software the college uses for homework is really screwed up.

Needless to say, I was ticked. I decided to seek out my girlfriend, b/c I figured seeing her would help me simmer down, plus she has really good insight on a lot of stuff.

Though I looked about as well-adjusted and sociable as a malnourished pitbull, still Vanessa listened to me with compassion, albeit worried compassion, flowing out of her eyes. But here's the best part. She didn't just
nod her head, rattle of Romans 8:28 and send me on my way. No, instead she truly LISTENED, even though I was venting and therefore probably not the greatest person to hang out with at that particualr moment. She encouraged me, but she didn't make light of my predicament.

See, that's what a true friend does. They stick with you through the good times and bad times, the clear times and the stormy times. "A brother was born for adversity," Proverbs tells us. All of us need t0 find friends like that. She also prayed for me, and even though I'm upset now, I know God will help me in His timing.

So, am I happy and grinning ear-to-ear? No. I probably won't be totally at peace until I bike to work later today, where no matter how hard I pound the pedals or how mad I may get, the pavement and cornfields and wide-open skies absorb my venting without complaint. You can carry on as much as you want, and they'll never interrupt. Try it sometime. It's relaxing in a way. ;-)-

In closing, continue to purse God, even in the bad and good times. God Bless.

Shane

What I Lack In Maturity I Make Up For In Immaturity.

My title today suggests that this post will be less serious than it's predecessors. Today, for those of you who don't know, is SYATP (See You At The Pole). Accordingly, I got up (More accurately, I woke up) at 5:00 a.m. today, got ready, and left for the college at 6:25. About fifteen kids from CCF came. We started at 7:00 and prayed for about half an hour. Then, I came in here, hung out with Vanessa and her friend Katie for a little while, then went to work. I just got off work and feel like I'm ready to collapse on the nice soft chair in what V'essa and I call the "Shh!" section
(the quiet section) of the library. Looked at my schedule today and realized that since I dropped Mondays I'm only working 8 and 1/2 hours a week at the college, and 5-8 at the libray. :-(- Oh well, at least I'm working. ;-)- Anyways, adios party people and I will catch you later. ;-)-

Slim

Misconceptions Concerning the Female Species.

This post concerns a subject which will grab the attention of every guy in my audience. Never fear, my friends, this is not the sex talk.

Today I wish to give my thoughts on girls.

My personal view is that their is a lot of misinformation floating around on how we guys should treat girls.
We tend to take our cues from Hollywood and the media, which more often than not oppose a Biblical worldview. I wish to see this trend reversed, and thought I'd share my thoughts concerning this.

Let me set the scene for you. You're sitting in school, and are keenly aware of her presence. This isn't just any girl; this is her. You know, that cute girl who always sits two rows in front of you, third desk from the left.
As thrilling as your teacher's two-hour lecture on rational expressions is, you find your mind continually returning to this alluring young woman. From afar you've observed her bright smile and outgoing personality, but any time you try to make your presence known your mouth goes dry, your palms sweat and your mind goes totally blank. Finally, you can't take your cowardice any longer. You decide that you must interact with this goddess face-to-face, come what may.

So, psyching yourself up, you replay the scene in your head a million times. After class you'll walk up to her desk, flex your huge muscles, flash that perfect movie star smile, and deliver the one-liner of the century, which, you're certain, will make her instantly fall madly in love with you.

O.K., hold up. Sorry to be a party-pooper, but it doesn't exactly work that way.

Over the last couple years I've talked to many Christian young women about what they look for in guys, and guess what? None of the three attributes mentioned above were high priorities on their lists!!!

In actuality, most of what these godly young women listed as essential on the list of attributes they look for in boys they might like were things like honesty, maturity, and godliness above all.

See, girls are very emotion-centered creatures. They love to see guys showing compassion for others, and living a life of integrity and godliness.

Don't believe me? Take a look at these quotes (taken from BOOM: A Guy's Guide to Growing Up-which all you guys should go buy, by the way!) :

"True Christian girls find true Christian guys irresistible! A strong faith in God that shows in the way you handle everyday situations and relate to people around you is the most important characteristic we Christian girls are looking for in a friend."

-Paula Van Rhyn

"Be patient and talk to us. Most of the time we'll tell you what's going on inside if we think you care."

-Linnea Shannon

"I look for a guy who is considerate of other people's feelings and who acts like a gentleman by doing things such as opening the door for me. It's also important that a guy act the same around his other friends as he does around me."

-Becky Staple

As you can see, godly girls value integrity, godliness, and compassion the most in the opposite sex. Display these qualities, live a life dedicated to God, and you're bound to eventually attract someone who shares your views.

The world tells you that you need a nice car, Tag body spray, and muscles that make Arnold Schwartznegger lo0k like Pewee Herman to ever have a chance of attracting a member of the opposite sex. Don't believe it.
What these advertisers don't tell you is that nice cars eventually rust, and no matter how much you bench your body will still peg out someday. (One can only hope that deodorant won't go out of style!!! Lol).

The point is, girls look for a guy who isn't chained by mindless conformity to peer pressure and the need to live up to "the cool code." They look for someone who isn't afraid to be his own person, and strives to be a leader and good witness in the way he behaves and conducts himself.

One last thing: don't push romantic expectations on a girl right away. As a friend of mine, Liz Wacaser, put it so well, "Crushes are hard to live with." Before you entertain romantic thoughts with this girl, get to know her first. The absence of romantic overtones make it so much easier to get acquainted with the true person behind that pretty face, to see the strengths, weaknesses, and potential struggles that would come with starting a romantic relationship with this particular person.

I had many long, meaningful talks with the girl I now court without first expressing my romantic thoughts, and that wait has paid off. I got to see the love of God manifested in her life in the way she acts towards other, her love for people, her likes and her dislikes. It's better to wait and evaluate the person before rushing into a romantic relationship and then being disappointed.

Bottom line: Live for God, "treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity," (1 Tim. 5:2), and eventually in God's timing He will bring the right woman into your life.

God Bless!

Shane

P.S. I've decided it's be cool to have girls comment on this, so that the guys this is addressed to can read their comments and hear it from a girl. Plus I'd get to see if I'm on track or not, lol. ;-)-

Mommy's Alright...Daddy's Alright...They're Both Just A Little Weird.

Well, finally my car has all the parts it needs to be road legal and fully functional-except for the radiator. So, we'll just pick it up on Monday and put it in, and I'm good to go!!!

For those of you who don't know already, on the night of Thursday the Thirteenth a large doe decided it would be great fun to play chicken with my car as I was driving home from school at 8:00. This proved untrue, as what the deer percieved as a fly-by-night rush ended up breaking it's neck and two of it's legs. My car ended up in not so great shape as well. Fortunately I emerged without a scratch-proof there is a loving God in heaven. ;-)-

Anyways, I thought I would share with you all a revelation I had yesterday night, at a church meeting.
The initial question I'd like to pose to you is: what is the definition of church?

Typically, answers come in three different flavors: 1) a building, 2) a Sunday morning routine, and 3) God's people.

Last night, in the middle of this meeting, I was struck hard with the thought that God's church is simply his people meeting to edify each other, change the world, and glorify Him.

We (my Mom, Dad, and I) were the only ones to attend Friday's meeting, held in our "Pastor's" (if you can call him that) house. We had long talks about what we thought the definition of church to be, and everyone put in their two cents. I really felt God moving as we talked. This further impressed on me the idea that God is manifested when his people meet together to glorify Him-where and how they meet is irrelevant.

You must understand, for a significant portion of my life I was part of a house church. That is, our body of believers met in each other's houses and shared what God had done in our lives and how we could better reach the community around us. This experience cultivated an understanding in me that "church" is more than just a Sunday morning routine where you sing songs and listen to a pastor, but rather a manifestation of God directing his people to grow and reach the community around them, constantly growing in their knowledge of the faith and in fellowship with each other.

Now don't miss the point here; I'm NOT trying to say that listening to a pastor speak or singing worship songs is wrong-I just refuse to believe that there is all there is. Although these activities are often part of church, they aren't what the end goal of a church should be.

I know that it probably seems like I'm going all Howard Stern on you guys here; the majority of my friends have been raised in program-based church. But my question is: when did church become all about the programs? It seems to me that a lot of churches seem to make the accomplishment of the man-made goals that they set the priority in their Christian life. Bussing youth group kids to events, setting up for activities, the list goes on.

I'm not at all implying that this is wrong; I know that every church has to have some degree of structure, and I'm certainly thankful for those individuals in my own life who have sacrificed their time and energy for a bunch of noisy kids who don't listen to them half the time (myself included!) I'm simply saying that I see this as unfortuantely becoming the end goal in the lives of many Christians: the mainentance and planning of the programs of the church to the detriment of true fellowship with the people the programs are designed to reach.

You have to realize that people want more than programs and a Sunday morning routine. As Jake Owens says, people want love (check out www.jakeowens.blogspot.com for more on this). Kids that come to youth group are searching for more than just a pizza party and a chance to play games: they're searching for an encounter with the One who can save their souls and turn their lives around. How would I propose creating an atmosphere that accomodates this goal? Have deep Bible studies, with a concrete lesson in mind. Have kids leave bearing an admonition to change the world in some small way, then the next week ask them what they did. Keep them accountable. Have apologetics training, where they can learn to defend their faith against the lies in their media and their schools. Have DISCUSSIONS, where everyone can contribute.
Have an unstructured time in your meetings where you ask people to express what God has been doing in their lives (this really helps get the people involved, in my opinion).

Finally, I see the church as modeled in the Book of Acts as more of a family than a function. With this in mind, help keep each other accountable. "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness. faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." -2nd Timothy 2:22.

God bless.

Shane

Rex-Kwon-Do For the Soul

Today I have another movie parallel to write about. It concerns the film...Napoleon Dynamite.

I know most of you reading this probably just experienced the eye-rolling symptoms discussed in my warning at the top of my blog. It's no secret to my friends that I like the movie Napoleon Dynamite. However, once again I find myself getting more, or at least different, lessons out of it than your average Joe.

Hey-whoa-hey, now hold up, you say. I just put the words Napoleon Dynamite and lesson in the same sentence. The casual viewer of the film would contend that it is one of the most pointless movies in the history of film, a film doubtless directed by grade-school dropouts who were definitely smoking something stronger than tobacco when they made the film.

At first glance, this would appear to be true. There is no real conflict/resolution or climax to the film; it seemingly relies on the unprecedented dorkiness of it's characters to keep viewers entertained. However, an observant student of the film such as myself will notice that beneath all that, a subliminal object lesson exists.

Most of us know the story: Napoleon is simply a very nerdy kid who, on account of his moon boots and sweet fro, is picked on constantly at school, and has a very hard time making friends. The jocks ridicule him, the hot cheerleader types ostracize him. Let's face it, someone who's favorite hobbies are drawing ligers (like a tiger, except "bred for it's skills and magic" ;-)- and dancing disco isn't going to be at the top of the popularity chain.
And when your best pick-up line is, "I see your drinking 1% milk. Is that 'cuz you think you're fat? 'Cuz you're not. You could be drinking whole, if you wanted to," you somehow find yourself in short supply of cute babes that wanna date you, much less play you in tetherball. ;-)-

Despite all this, Napoleon does end up making friends who accept him for who he is. And that's the issue I want to address today: the issue of realism in our relationships.

Right now our culture is running a serious deficit in the "realism" department. Don't believe me? Turn on your TV or pick up a magazine. Day by day, we in America are constantly bombarded with the idea that image is everything. That's why we spend so much time working out, buying new clothes, and mindlessly conforming to our peers around us. Just count the number of kids in any given school wearing Hollister brand clothes as an example.

This view saddens me, because I think that it tends to foster an unhealthy obsession with the surface, to the exclusion of those things that really matter. We're so obsessed with our fashion and popularity that we've stopped searching for the real deal. We neglect reaching out to someone because they might not fit in with our clique. We watch and listen to and do things we know we shouldn't all in the name of "fitting in."

I'm not immune to this Americanized syndrome by any means. I struggle with it just as much as the next guy. The difference comes when you realize that none of it will last. In 40 years, no one will care what kind of car you drove or who you hung with or who you dated. But the things that do matter, honesty and integrity and faith, among other things, will last a lifetime!!! With this in mind, continue searching for the real. Live today with a determination to obtain those things which will last: true friends, faith, integrity.

Have a good one.

Shane

Movies and Morals

As you can tell from reading my previous blog, I'm a big fan of the movie The Matrix.
Of course the special effects are record-breakingly incredible, and yes the plot is peerless in the world of sci-fi, but there's another reason I enjoy this movie so much, and that's because I think it's an excellent parallel of the Christian life.

For those of you unfortuante enough to be unfamiliar with the film, let me give you the basic outline. Basically, the world that we see around us is a computer-generated counterfeit designed to blind us from the truth...the truth that we are really locked in a mental prison by, as the movie box states, "all powerful machines of artificial intelligence that control us." The entire human race is unknowingly imprisoned in a world that looks and feels like reality, but truly isn't. This is the Matrix. Amongst these decieved are a remnant of those who have been "unplugged," who are constantly striving to free those decieved from the Matrix. Out of this remnant rises one (Neo) who is destined to free the entire human race from their predicament, and open their eyes to the reality of the state of the world around them.

As I said, there are many similarities between the movie and the Christian life. One of these is that many in the world are decieved into thinking that the observable universe is all there is; or that "seeing is believing." We Christians of course know differently; that beyond what we can see and smell and taste there is a war going on, a war for the souls of those enslaved to their sin.
"For we do not fight against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities of the heavenly realms."

Like Neo, we have been charged with the responsibility of opening other's eyes to this deceit, in short "making disciples of all nations." While we aren't able to manipulate time and space while performing jaw-dropping aerial acrobatics, running up walls and using high-powered firearms (though that might be fun ;-)-, we do have weapons at our disposal.

One of the most powerful of these is prayer. We can intercede daily for those we're trying to influence, and God will help us.

Another is our witness. How we live our lives can be one of our most effective tools in communicating our faith to others.

However, our biggest advantage in this war is that, UNLIKE Neo, we don't have to be
"the one." The fate of the world does not rest in your hands or my hands (those of you who know me know that that is a very good thing ;-)- Jesus Christ paid for the world's sin on the cross once and for all. Our job is to lead our peers to a knowledge of the grace made available because of this act to all who would believe in Jesus.

Like Neo, we have a choice. We can either choose to refuse our responsibility and slip into conformity, letting the world blissfully continue on its downward spiral, or we can stand up and accept our job, helping to open the world's eyes to their predicament should they continue without Christ.

Unfortunately, this choice cannot be made by simply taking a pill. Ours is a choice which must consciously be made each day, as our "matrix," our American culture, seeks to pull us into a lifestyle of ease and conformity.

In closing, are you content to close this browser and live a life of mediocrity with this knowledge that you have tucked safely inside your head, hidden from others lest they reject your witness?
Are you content to "go to sleep and believe whatever you want to believe," or are you going to use the knowledge you now have for the edification of your peers, and see for yourself "how deep the rabbit hole goes?"

Shane (aka the Introvert)

Some Specifics

Now that we've finished the appetizer, it's time to sink your teeth into the meat and potatoes of my blog.

First of all, who am I? Let's start with what you've already gleaned from my title: that I'm an introvert.
Webster's defines an introvert as a "shy or reserved person." Well, if I fit that description, then why would I be writing a blog, you ask? Two reasons:

Numero Uno: I LOVE to write. I write letters, emails, and I'm in the middle of writing the 7,985th draft of
my second book, on my PC. So it's only natural for me to utilize yet another medium for
expressing myself through the written word.

Numero Dos: As I've begun my third year of college, I've started to get to know a whole lot more people.
This has in part influenced me to socialize. Also, I feel that as I grow older I'm beginning to
emerge more and more from the "introvert mold" I was seemingly cast in. ;-)-

Recovering introvert or not, I enjoy reading, writing, concertgoing, listening to music, playing basketball, working out, practicing Aikido, and watching mysterious brain teaser type movies. Here are some of the specifics:

Music: I'll listen to almost any genre except for country. That being said, I'll classify my fave artists by genre:

Modern Rock: Anberlin and Lifehouse are my fave here, but also Starflyer 59, House of Heroes, Switchfoot,
Audioslave, Between Thieves...

Classic Rock: First and foremost Led Zeppelin, but also Scorpions, Rush, Pink Floyd, Queen, Foreigner...

Hard Rock: Skillet, Flyleaf, Spoken, P.O.D., Family Force 5, Project 86, TFK...

Pop Rock: dcTalk!!!

Punk Rock: MXPX, Eleventyseven, Flatfoot56, Stellarkart, FM Static...

Rap/Hip-Hop: First of all MARS ILL, they're the dopest, lol. ;-)- But also T-Bone, Playdough, and The Procussions...

Techno: Andy Hunter, Moby, Joy Electric...

Ska: Five Iron Frenzy!!!

Emo/Screamo: 30 Seconds to Mars, Underoath, Dead Poetic, Far-less, clean songs from MCR...

So, that about covers it for my musical tastes. I'll be brief about movies and TV shows, I promise. ;-)-

Movies: For my two favorites, I'd have to say The Matrix and Napoleon Dynamite. The Matrix is a milestone film, a marvel of filmaking let alone story-telling, and it parallels the Christian life in so many ways.
Napoleon Dynamite is, well...flippin' sweet, what else? ;-)-

TV Shows: I'm hopelessly addicted to Seinfeld (my Mom's fault). I'm also a total, die-hard LOST fan!!! It's incredibly unprecedented, masterfully woven plots were a large part of my decision to write a second book.
;-)-

Anyways, there's a little background me and the some of the things I enjoy. I'll write more later; write now I better get to sleep if I hope to stay awake for sKuLe tomorrow.

The Introvert