I'm short on time so, consequently, this post will also be short.
Lately I've begun to wonder if I'm too serious. It almost seems like I've got a serious case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde going on sometimes. I tend to enjoy things that none of my other peers do (Seinfeld, ancient history, and books on psychology to name a few), which makes me feel very distant from them most of the time.
I do have the capacity to spend my time in the most trivial ways, playing PS2, shooting hoops, or watching SpongeBob SquarePants, which almost has all the educational value of Silly Songs with Larry.
But on another level, I tend to crave serious conversation with my peers, and almost loathe discussions exclusively revolving around the mundane. I spent most of the past four years of my life talking about nothing but music, movies and video games with my closest friends, and I've gotten to the point where that just doesn't do it for me anymore.
I find myself wondering lately, Am I normal? Does my appreciation of my parent's music (Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, etc) label me as a throwback from the past generation? Does my appreciation of things like ancient history, Psychology, and politics render me stuffy and boring in the eyes of my peers?
And then I begin to ask myself another question...what IS normal, and do I really want to obtain it?
Our culture tells us that to be normal is to like the same big bands that millions of people listen to, to shop at Hollister, and that image is everything. While I never want to mindlessly conform to those around me, I find myself walking the thin line between conformity and popularity.
Don't misunderstand. In my heart of hearts I know that God's opinion is all that matters, and that I really don't need to care about man's opinion. Lately it seems, however, that my knowledge of this fact has been put in a chokehold by my desire to fit in and be appreciated by my peers. Everybody wants to fit in, and I am no exception. Maybe I should spend more time where I feel I am greater appreciated for just being me, or maybe I'll never fit into that coveted mold that makes lots of people want to hear your views and get your feedback.
A lot to think about, I guess. Like I said, I know that I shouldn't care about other's opinion, and that God's is the only one that truly matters. Still, it doesn't change my desire to be accepted. I guess I'll sleep on it and see if I get any insight from reading the insides of my eyelids for a few hours.