About Me

I'm somewhat introverted, I'm a voracious reader, and I love a good conversation. My interests and activities can be found on the right side of the page. My life goal is to use the gifts and talents God has bestowed on me to glorify Him and benefit others.

Friday, October 5, 2007

So That You May Understand The Complex Infrastructure Known As The Female Mind

Please note: To any ladies reading this post, it is not my intention to offend. I simply wish to state an observation I've made recently in the interest of helping my fellow brothers in Christ better understand women. I would be pleased if you women commented on this and gave me your views.
(This has been a public service announcement brought to you courtesy of Shane. Thank you and happy reading.)

All of us guys have experienced the phenomenon known as "nagging." Whether it revolves around cleaning your room, taking out the trash, or "for the last time stop standing with the refrigerator door open!!!," most of us guys can relate.

My Mom, it seems, has a black belt in this ancient art practiced for centuries by females all over the globe. I would be lying if I said it didn't get under my skin a lot of the time. I'll be perfectly honest: when my mother tries to tell me what I should be doing, how I should be doing it and when I should be doing it, as childish as it may seem, I often take offense.

Chalk it up to male pride. I'm guessing a lot of you, the male constituents in my audience, have dealt with the same issue. Whenever a woman (our mothers or anyone else for that matter) tries to tell us that we're doing something wrong, we go on the defensive. We think, "Why is she still giving her opinion? Doesn't she know that I heard her point the first time? Besides, I've already got everything under control!!!"

Now let's switch gears for a second. Every guy knows how frustrating it is when you know that a girl has something on her mind, but whenever you ask her what it is she just says, "Oh, nothing." This is as frustrating to us as three weeks worth of algebra tests, because it interferes with our God-given desire to be a protector and provider. If you won't tell us what the problem is (and a lot of the time this means spelling it out, because the truth is we guys aren't typically as intuitive as you ladies), then we feel helpless, even unwanted.

Recently my girlfriend made a comment about how, biblically, women are supposed to be a man's helper, and that it really encouraged her when I noticed some of the things that she would do to help me and when I accepted her help. Just this morning I got slapped upside the head with the realization that maybe, just as we men have a God-given Protector/Provider instinct, perhaps women have a God-given Helper instinct. And just think, if it frustrates us so much when they refuse to tell us what their problems are, how much might it frustrate them when we refuse their help and advice???

Truth be told, it took an angry shouting match with my Mom to bring this fact to light. :-(- It all seems so cut-and-dried, but in reality it is so unbelievably hard to accept this well-intentioned help from a female.

In order to do this, we need to let go of our pride and let women help us when we need it. I'm not saying that we need to do everything their way all the time, just that we need to be sensitive to their suggestions. Let's let women be women and exercise their Helper instincts, and then maybe when they see our sensitivity in taking their suggestions into account, they'll feel more receptive to letting us exercise our Protector/Provider instincts.

God Bless.



slimshaney said...

I'd never really thought about it that way before...and then it just hit me upside the head one day. That's how it is with a lot of stuff for me, lol. ;-)- Isn't there a verse somewhere in Gensis about the woman being created as man's helper??? Not sure. Glad you like it though...always like to get comments. TTYL.

Rebekah said...

Hi, I'm a friend of Vanessa, she gave me your site address. I think your statement about how females have a God given Helper instinct is right to the point. One of the best books that I've read on the subject is "created to be his helpmeet" (warning: this is definately a girl book and it's actually written for married ladies) but it really brings out the point how we as females were created for 2 things. 1. to honor God and 2 to be our husbands helpmeet.
Anyways good post!

slimshaney said...

Cool! A new audienc member! Lol. ;-)-

Glad you liked the post. It's taken me awhile, but over the last couple years I've tried to be more observant on how girls tick and so these girl-oriented posts are just some of the conclusions that I've come to. I've heard of that book "Created To Be His Helpmeet," but I'll heed your ladies-only disclaimer. Though I did read For Women Only as well as For Men Only (By Shaunti Feldham), and I thought that was really good. Normally I have to get both sides of the discussion before I'm satisfied to make a conclusion.

So maybe I'll eventually read the book, I don't know (fyi I love to read and read almost anything, so if you've got any good book recommendations post them!!! Lol.)

Anyways, hope you'll comment again and it was nice hearing from you.